A mover's joke:
Mover: Where's the apartment?
Man: It's up on the second floor.
Mover: It always is...
A parking ticket citation: "This car been seat there to long."
A headline I saw: If you read one article on Obamacare today, make it this one.
A classified ad: BBW seeks more.
Russian joke from the Soviet period:
[Regarding a man lying in the middle of the street.]
Comrade: His lethargic display of apathy and lack of industry is shameful!
Comrade: It is a legitimate response to the harsh and inconsequential nature of being. I celebrate his tenacity!
An observation: The weather is not news.
A suspicion: They play horseshoes for money in the park.
Logion 72 from the Gospel of Thomas, Lambdin translation:
A man said to Jesus: "Tell my brothers that they have to divide my father’s possessions with me."
Jesus said to him: "Oh man, who has made me a divider?"
Jesus turned to his disciples and said to them: "I am not a divider, am I?"
Something you notice: Your workplace has the same faucets as your childhood home.
What's more: Parking garages are laid out like a double helix, with pathways in the middle of each level to cross to the other branch.
Neither here nor there: Water tastes better thru a black straw.